


Four chances, and then one

by Ginny_theQueen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Regulus deserved better, Some angst, i'm emo about reg sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 13:59:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15632097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ginny_theQueen/pseuds/Ginny_theQueen
Summary: Regulus Black was given chances time and time again. He always refused them. Until he gave himself a chance.1. Sirius (January 1976)2. James (October 1976)3. Dumbledore (March 1977)4. Lily (April 1978)+1. (1979)





	Four chances, and then one

     One

 _January 1976_  

“Reg,” the Gryffindor calls when he sees him in the east corridor of the third floor. His brother comes to a halt and turns, recognizing the voice. Besides, no one else calls him Reg.

“Sirius…”

“I’m sorry I left you behind. Did they hurt you? Did they punish you for my flight? I tried to contact you but I figured they wouldn’t let you talk to me.”

“I’m alright, I think. Mother screamed for days but she didn’t hold it against me more than the rest of humanity. Father and uncle Cygnus acted like nothing had happened. Every time I mentioned your name they just pretended not to hear.”

“I’m so relieved. I’m sorry for leaving you behind,” he repeated. “You shouldn’t have spent Christmas alone.”

“Oh, but I wasn’t alone. Bella and Rodolphus were with me the whole time. Rabastan Lestrange showed up too. Cissy and her Malfoy fiancé mostly stayed by themselves but they were of company too.”

“Merlin, I’m sorry. Was it awful?”

“A little.”

“I’m sorry.” It seemed it was the only thing that could come out of his mouth.

“I missed you. I missed my brother. Even if we fought. I miss the way things used to be.”

“I’m sorry for shouting at you.”

If he were Remus or James, his face would be wet with tears by now. But it didn’t matter that he had fled, that he hated the whole lot of them. He was still a Black in his heart. He couldn’t love like that. He could not cry. He’d been raised like this, it was in his blood and in his soul.

“I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I’ll -”

“They burned you.”

“What?”

“Off the family tree. Mother physically erased any sign of you from the family, while Bellatrix laughed and I just stood there. I couldn’t do anything to stop them.” A smirk. “They couldn’t do anything about the posters in your room though. You’d think pictures of muggles would be easier to take down.”

Sirius’s grin matches his brother’s. “How upset was she?”

“So much,” Regulus said slowly, “that she blasted you off the family.”

“It’s fine, Reg. I don’t give a damn about that wretched tree. I’m glad I’m not part of the family anymore. I have found a new one. The Potters welcomed me in their home. They’ll welcome you too.”

“Sirius, I can’t come with you.”

“Don’t worry about them, we’ll protect you. Fleamont and Euphemia will keep them away.”

“No, Sirius, you don’t understand. I can’t come with you because _I don’t want to leave_.”

“What?”

“I belong with them. I’m not as strong and brave as you are. I could never challenge them the way you did. There’s a reason why the Sorting Hat placed you in Gryffindor and me in Slytherin. I’m no different from them.”

“Don’t talk like that. Don’t compare yourself to them. You are good, Reg. We can be together. Together, we can stand up to our family. We can be brothers again.”

“I can’t. I belong with them,” he repeats. Sirius walks away without another word.

 

     Two

_October 1976_

James is walking towards the dungeons, he’s going to give Snivellus a serious lesson this time.

Remus is in the hospital wing, Sirius and Peter went to see him. He briefly visited Moony before Quidditch practice and brought him some chocolate.

Now he’s under the Cloak, unseen. But that doesn’t prevent him from seeing others. He slows his pace and makes a split moment decision. He drops the Invisibility Cloak and appears out of thin air, making the boy that was going to walk straight into his invisible self jump.

“What the fuck, Potter!”

“Watch where you’re going, Regulus.”

“What are you doing here? You have no right to be –“

“Oh, shut up. You’re going to dock points with your little Prefect badge, aren’t you? Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not asking where _you’re_ going.”

“Then let me go.”

“I don’t know… I think I might want to speak with you now, Regulus Black.”

“That’s a pity, because I have no intention whatsoever of talking to you.”

“Regulus…” James’s tone was serious now. “Are you okay? Your zealot Slytherin friends aren’t around, you can talk to me honestly. Do you… need help?”

“What are you talking about, Potter? Why in Salazar’s name would I require _your_ help?”

“Because Sirius and I – we’re concerned. He’ll never admit it, but he worries for you. He’s still your brother.”

“He abandoned me. They made me pay for his betrayal.”

“We’re sorry. But you can still run – “

“Run? Like he did? I thought that was bravery, but now I see it as it is; cowardice. I am now the one remaining male heir of the noble and most ancient House of Black. I had to fill the place he left vacant. I don’t get a choice.”  

“But you do! I’m _offering_ you a choice. You can stay with us. My family accepted Sirius as a son, he’s my brother and - you can have a new family too, if you choose. You can start again.”

“Why are all you Gryffindors so thick? I don’t _want_ to! I don’t want to have anything to do with you lot! I’m not a charity ward and I don’t need anyone’s help.”

“Regulus,” James spoke calmly after a moment. “You have no idea what you’re getting into.”

A devilish grin on his face. “Oh, but I do.”

 

 

     Three

_March 1977_

“Mr Black, a word, if you please.”

Old fool. Regulus forced a smile. “Of course, Headmaster.”

“I couldn’t help but notice that you have been holding a very… peculiar company these days.”

“Have you been spying on me, Professor?”

“It is my interest and responsibility to know what my students are up to while in the Castle, Mr Black.”

“Then what about my activities outside the Castle? Have you been monitoring those too?”

“I am sure you know there is a dark road ahead and we –“

“Stop. This won’t work on me. This bullshit that you fill my brother’s head with… I’m not a Gryffindor, I don’t have stupid values to hold on to. I believe only in myself. Don’t waste your time trying to help me, save me, recruit me or whatever it is that you’re doing. I’m gone already. I’ve made my choice and nothing is ever going to make me change my mind.”

Dumbledore’s eyes were calm. “These are harsh words for a boy so young. You don’t have to choose a side just yet. I hope you will never have to, but alas. You’ve got nothing to prove just now.”

“What would you know of that? You don’t know them. You don’t know my family.”

“I know more than you think. I know that your uncle Alphard helped your brother after he was disowned. I’m not asking you to take a stand like Sirius did. I just wish you didn’t make hasty decisions. Don’t do anything you might regret.”

“I know what I want. And it’s not to lower myself to beg students not to join the winning side of a war, Headmaster. As I said, you’re wasting your time.”

 

 

     Four

_April 1978_

Lily was arranging her notes after the weekly Thursday meeting. James had already left in a hurry for the Quidditch pitch, the other prefects slowly flowing out of the office.

“Black,” she called, with no response. “ _Junior_ ,” she specified, even though the other wasn’t present.

“What do you want?”

Lily sighed. “I just wanted to ask you about Slughorn’s party. I was sick and couldn’t go but I’m dying to hear about it. ”

“Then why ask me? I’m sure you must know somebody else who went.”

“None of my Gryffindor and Hufflepuff mates could make it. And we are still on bad terms with the Ravenclaws after the match.”

“And you’re asking _me_ because you and I are on _good terms_?”

She merely shrugged at the sarcasm in his voice. “I wasn’t aware that we weren’t.”

“Stop playing the fool, Evans. Just because I look like my brother doesn’t mean I’m an idiot like him.”

“No, you’re right. I guess that saves us some time then. Let’s skip the part where I pretend to think you _did_ go to Slughorn’s party last Friday.”

“Pray tell,” Regulus said, his voice shifting. “What do you care where I was Friday night?”

“I care that you were hanging out with a bunch of Death Eaters setting fires in Muggle London.”

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t bother with lies, we know you were.”

“Who exactly is we, Evans? You, Potter, my brother, Dumbledore, perhaps the entire sodding Order of the Phoenix? You can’t prove anything.”

“I can prove you were not where you were supposed to be. Which is Slughorn’s party.”

A glimmer danced in his eyes then. “But the same can be said about you.”

“Oh yes. Lily Evans, muggleborn, starting fires in London with Voldemort’s gang. I wonder why the rest of the world hasn’t caught up yet.”

Regulus turned to leave.

“What I really wanted to say to you, Black,” she raised her voice so that he’d pause and listen. “Is that I know what it feels when your older sibling, your best friend, decides to leave you behind. It sucks.”

“What in Salazar’s name are you babbling about?”

“I’m not saying this because Sirius or James sent me.”

“They both beat you to it anyway.”   

She ignored his comment. “I’m saying this because I know what you feel. The betrayal. I lost my sister because she hates our kind and now she doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. Don’t make the same mistake with Sirius. You can still have a brother.”

“I don’t have a brother. I haven’t had one for a long time.”

This time, when he walked out of the door, Lily did not stop him.

 

 

     +1. 

_1979_

Regulus could see it now.

All the ways this was wrong.

What they’d been trying to tell him all along.

As Regulus was forced to kill innocents and children with his smirking friends, those he’d chosen for himself, he understood.

They had been right. All of them.

That old fool, his wretched brother, Potter and his muggleborn bitch, all them insufferable Gryffindors with their useless morals and stupid ideals.

They had it figured out long before he even made his choice.

 _He wouldn’t do this, couldn’t stand it any longer_.

He couldn’t be an unwilling slave, and the things he had done, the blood on his hands…

But there was one thing that he _could_ do. Perhaps his last.

“Kreacher,” he called. “I need you to take me to the cave.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I really am back to writing.  
> This angsty little thing has been sitting untouched in my folder since circa 2013. It was really time to let it go. Please let me know your thoughts. Regulus Black is my son (not in the sense that I'm Walburga, lmao hell no) and he deserved so much better. Most underrated character in the series. Because Slytherins aren't intrinsically bad, just like Gryffindors aren't all good. We just like to paint them this way because it's easy, and we tend to simplify things we don't like.
> 
> See you soon! And I promise I will update the #mywritings tag on http://ohnotoomanyfandoms.tumblr.com/ too.


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